The Biggest Blog in Sports History Ever! EVER!!!!

Yeah, we're still here, keeping our ear, and our head and, a lot of other more erotic pieces of the anatomy stuck firmly to the teet of UK Ice Hockey News.

Unfortunately that teet has become dry in the last couple of weeks and a few hairs have got stuck in our teeth, but thats a different matter.

One thing we have noticed is that the "Biggest Joke, err, Rivalry in Sports History"; The Steelers and the Panthers, have become the first two teams to fill their rosters in preparation for the new season.

Myself and Raul were chucking at this only days ago (I say chucking, I was laughing, and I instructed "Big John" to ensure Raul was chuckling also!). Fact is, where is the fun in that? All signed up? What do the fans have to talk about now?

In our humble opinion the Panthers team looks like it isn't going to have the firepower it requires, yet will no doubt bore the lamps of the NIC crowd with an uber-defensive game.

Meanwhile, "ikle Sheffield" will find themselves being thumped about due to distinct lack of bulk. No doubt tears will be shed, spin will be fired by Mr Simms, and 2 of the new guys will be gone by December as they try to recoup their losses and sign someone who wont stay down when Hull come and hammer their forwards through the plexi!

Hull, as I've mentioned, are currently shopping at CostCo for their players, low in price, big in volume. Buy Bulk and the people will come. Fair assumption, worked for Paul Newman. (His Salad Dressing is superb!)

In Manchester, They've signed Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D, as their latest big name. It is admirable that the guy has the determination to play on despite his affliction. But does that make him exempt from “banter”? Here on the Snow Plough we say no, and we’ll be keeping a good eye on Polyphemus’* progress.

Steve Thornton has continued his signings in Belfast by picking up Dobby Bobbins or Robby Poppins or something like that. While new forward Andrew Martin has big skates to fill to surpass his namesake, former Giants forward Gareth Martin.

As we on the Snow Plough told you aaaaagggeeees ago. Carlyle Lewis will be displaying his mediocre hockey in Coventry this season. A rebuilding year for Thommo having lost some big names, so I hope for his sake Lewis will be doing some brick laying or plastering, because I think the Coventry fans will be expecting a lot more than they are going to get.

As for Cardiff, Edinburgh and Basingstoke…..

Well

Umm

They’re still about.

I think.

I really hope something happens soon in UK Hockey. It’s really boring at the minute. Have you seen NEIH? They are arguing over “ticket allocation”. While SteelTalk are “cockerhoop” over receiving receipts for their season tickets. The Panthers Cage (and the cats nipple hair) is, as usual, preoccupied by their obsession with the Steelers, while KotG talk about their favourite meal.

Christ.

Someone wake us up when something interesting happens.

*I'm not linking that reference. If you don't know it, look it up and educate yourself!