From Abu Dhabi to Edinburgh

Dougie signals a 'T' meaning ten goals please

After almost two years away covering the Abu Dhabi hockey league I have returned to the UK for a flying visit before trekking on to the United States to work on an expose on the dangers of hitting to the head in the National Hockey League but why, we, as a blood thirsty society, love to see someone 'get their bell rung' anyway.

Abu Dhabi was a hell of an experience for those 600+ days I spent with my toes in the sand. The hockey out there is a different breed altogether. In fact, I'd go as far as to say it is indeed the toughest hockey league in the entire sport - you wouldn't believe how hard it is to skate in sand ... actually, maybe you would.

Anyway, on my flying visit to the UK I'll be in Scotland to watch the Belfast Giants take on the might of the Edinburgh Capitals. The last time I took in a British Elite League game involving the Edinburgh Capitals, it was against Nottingham, and they were shit then too, though they still beat Nottingham. So it comes as no great shock for me to see them rooted to the bottom of the EIHL table with a record so bad they make Justin Bieber's latest record look good.

15 points in 45 games with the kind of scoring record that not even a Jewish prostitute in my beloved Abu Dhabi would be proud of ... and I would know. They are conceding an average of 7.13 goals per game which should make them about as serious of a threat to the Belfast Giants this weekend as Brad Voth is to the fair play award. Their 580 penalty minutes as a team combined are the kind of numbers Paxton Schulte would put up in a passive season by himself.

Anyway, Giants head honcho Doug Christiansen is taking them serious with the knowledge that the Giants fans will be calling for his head if his team fails to notch up double figures in scoring.

"We won’t be taking them lightly, despite their short bench right now. We want to get in there and go to work, just like we would any other night," he claimed to a pack of respected, top quality journalists and myself, while eyeing each of us to see if we were actually buying what he was trying to sell.

In all the Giants will face the Capitals and Stingrays on the road this weekend were anything but four points, twenty goals and two cases of Tennents will do.

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The British Elite Division?

For the production of this blog entry I had to study the league table on the Elite League website. While on there I noticed a few strange notes that have me wondering if their is a new side to the Elite League that has sprung up since I left for the Middle East? According to their website a team with an 'X' beside their name have clinched a playoff position, while a team with a 'Y' next to their name have clinched first-place in the division.

The division?

Hold up! While Sheffield, Belfast and Cardiff are battling it out for the league title I wasn't aware that in winning it they were simply taking the divisional honours. Would I be wrong in assuming that there is therefore another table full of teams making up some parallel division? In winning this division is there promotion to some higher division? Or maybe there is some parallel universal division? I don't know but the implications are mind-blowing for one who until moments ago thought that those in the table on the Elite League website were the only teams in the Elite League at all. That the EIHL website doesn't mention the other division is odd, and something I may have to return from the United States in a week or so's time to investigate.